I’m thinking about

Sawing my feet off. Maybe leaving a little bit of a stub or sawing halfway through The arch to leave the heels at least

Pros and cons? How would you guys approach this

Are you performing in a community theatre rendition of “Saw” or something?

But laser brakes. Go find, or become, a Bond villain.

Was planning on stumping for a candidate. Literally

Getting too inflexible to put my foot in my mouth. Now I can just carry it in my back pocket. Bonus

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If you are really committed, a Slap Chop.

Tom Dempsey made a career out of it.

He could probably hire Vince Shlomi to slap chop it off. Or just tell him your foot is a prostitute he might bite it off for you.

If he’s busy you could ask Marv Albert…



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The moment you use a prostitute as a dental mold is the moment when you know that you’ve really made it big.

What are you trying to fix?