Not sure if this is supposed to be enjoyable or not, but

How the hell do you draw that conclusion? I literally said public schools are socially engineering kids to tolerate and accept people that are “different”? Where do you get murder from?

I don’t like the way we use the word tolerance. It’s a trendy buzzword, and is currently socially acceptable, but to me, it pre-supposes that someone has done something wrong, annoying, etc. It really doesn’t mean anything, because it doesn’t speak to truth. If you tolerate something, that means you put up with it. Acceptance is much better… but love is much better (the truth). Our society is trained to run from vulnerability & real feelings, and love is the scariest word in our language to most people. When people start to understand that we ALL do things to meet our needs, and that humans are amazing miracles of God, we start to see things differently. We must separate the behavior from the person, and understand why the person does what they do, if we are ever to help them.

Some people have learned destructive behavior as a means of getting their needs met. I volunteer to work with dudes who just got out of jail for kicking their wife and/or kids ass. It’s called batterers intervention. We all have patterns that are both healthy and unhealthy, and different ways of dealing with our “stuff”. Doesn’t matter what happens to us as children, it’s the meaning we attach to it. People who think they have it rough…DO. It’s their reality, through their lens. People use anger (end up in batterer’s intervention) by covering up insecurities, sadness, depression, while attempting to control something they never could control.

We can do lots of things to shift it and anchor to something different, and the shit works, but you’re always going to refer back to your patterns at some point. We can get more conscious, so that we can see the pattern for what it is, understand where the emotion comes from, and not let it control us. We can develop tools to break it down, and forgive ourselves (you read that right) for mistreating/misrepresenting ourselves and/or others.

This could get really long, so Im about to microwave the shit out of it. Your pattern will always come up, but three things will happen, if you recognize it, and don’t let your emotions run you.

  1. It’ll come up less often, the more conscious you become.
  2. It won’t be as intense when it does come up, because you’ll see it for what it is
  3. You’ll be better at dealing with it, with the right tools.

Though very abbreviated, this is a premise of how we teach people to love themselves. The more loving, forgiving, and understanding you are of yourself, the more loving, forgiving, and understanding you are of OTHERS!

If you are in fear, you are putting significance and certainty over love. When you learn to meet your needs for significance and certainty THROUGH love…absolutely everything changes.

Sending love to you guys! And if you can’t receive it…Fuck you! I love you anyway!

BigNatty,

Tolerance is an important word, its not just trendy. Tolerance means I can personally be against something, but without being a dick about it. If you don’t have tolerance, you are forcing everyone to either be for or against everything…with no middle ground.

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I agree with Wes, love doesn’t come into the equation for me. I tolerate 90% of people’s behavior I encounter on a daily basis… It’ may not how I would live life or choose to do things, but it’s not my life. I tolerate others bc I want them to tolerate me. The “normal” crowd is being forced to accept things they don’t believe in. And, for me personally, when shit is shoved down my throat, I WILL push back, I don’t care who or what it is.

I see what you did there :eyes::upside_down_face:

But just to reiterate a point, being gay and being trans are not the same thing.

Yep, the story of my life. I’m an old school Democrat living in the day of the Socialist take over.

You absolutely should. I’ll do anything I can to help someone, with one exception…Compromise myself. If you compromise yoruself, nothing good will ever come of it.

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But the problem is that people don’t just want tolerance, which is a first cousin to indifference. They crave more, ie acceptance/approval, and if you don’t give it to them, you’re a “hater” (tolerance the other way goes out the window).

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I can tolerate anything except violence. Child abuse or murder top the list of things I cannot accept.
Gay/trans, hey, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Militants are another story.

You are absolutely correct and was in the back of my brain when I posted my response. Its tough to be tolerant, there’s no doubt. Many people can’t do it.

This is a very healthy attitude, but there are more layers to the onion.
Example:

I used to be in the oil and gas industry.
I was a high-level boss, on some big projects. On smaller projects, I sometimes was the one guy who had no-one to answer to. On most projects, I would be one of 20-30 guys who looked over a project with 1,000-1,500 + guys on it.

One project, I worked with a guy named John, on my first day in the field. The next day, we came to same entrance (some of these ranches have miles and miles of land with no roads, so we enter through access points) as the John. I was instructed to get the blueprints for the project from him. When I approached his truck, he had a buddy of his in the passenger seat.

John - “aaaahhhh here comes that Yankee.”
Other dude (honestly forgot his name) - Yeah, I could tell hewuzza Yankee by the way he dresses."
John- Yeah, we ain’t laborers, why you wearing gloves"
Other - “You afraid of getting sunburnt?”
Me - “yeah, I’m from the north, & I’ve had sun poisoning twice. Definitely not going to let that happen again. Plus, there are no women out here, and I’m definitely not trying to impress you guys.”
Other guy - “Listen to him talk. He prolly cain’t even understand what we’re sayin’.”
Me- still ignoring it - “I used to be an English Teacher in Houston, I won’t have any trouble understanding you guys.”
John - Removes my saftey glasses from my face, and says “Look at these glasses he wears, all scratched up.”
Me - still not giving a fuck what they think - “yeah, those glasses are super-light, and they don’t touch my face. I hate it when they touch my face and make me break out.”
other guy - Grabs glasses from John, and puts my glasses in one hand, his in the other…then says “well, I guess we just must have stronger necks than you.”
Me - in a super-calm, HONEST voice - “well, you suck enough dick and you’re bound to get a strong neck, brother. You guys have been sucking each other’s dicks ever since I walked up here.”
I said it with total honesty - and ZERO tolerance. Not getting into their dick-measuring contest with them, but also not tolerating their behavior.
John - after about 7 seconds of silence, in an attempt to call a truce says, “Rock here’s a life coach. He really did help me with some stuff yesterday.”
Other guy, still striving to win dick a non-existent dick measuring contest - “Oh yeah, Yankee! What do you see in me?”
Me - "well, I can see you are looking to meet your need for significance and feel important, and I can see you are looking to meet your need for connection, which is really very low-level love. You are using bullying tactics to try to connect and with your friend, but the thing is, you don’t even believe what you are saying. You’re attempt to gain significance, certainty and love isn’t based on anything real, because you don’t even believe your own words.

I went on a little more about bullying, why ppl do it, how he was likely bullied as a kid and learned the behavior from someone else.

I could tell dozens of stories just like this one, where myself and others didn’t tolerate shit, but stood in truth.

The thing about love, is the lens of love has 2 sides to it. The near side is self-love. You do not compromise who you are. The more you know who you are, the more you care for yourself, the less bullshit you will allow into your life. The less you will tolerate anything. Understanding that there are misaligned people in the world does’t mean you are tolerating them. You can’t control anything aside from your own thoughts.

If you have a neighbor that puts trash in your yard, you don’t tolerate it. If you have someone who bitches at you, you don’t tolerate it.

Knowing there’s an ISIS training camp 20 miles outside of Atlanta - I guess sometimes we do have to tolerate stuff like that. I personally can’t take that organization out, nor do I feel equipped to do it. Thanks for making me think on this one, Wes. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle.

Not the same thing, like a paranoid schizophrenic and a sociopath aren’t the same thing (but both being personality disorders).

You shouldn’t be telling those with a mental disorder that their behavior is “normal” or to be celebrated.

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No, more like someone who kills someone in self defense and a serial killer are two different things.

Mental disorder comes into play when they convince themselves there are 356 sexes.
Many gays and trans acknowledge only two sexes but enjoy sex with the same gender.
I eat pork. Biblically it has the exact same penalty under the Law. Football players are in trouble, too! Even touching the skin of a swine carries the death penalty.
Love is greater, even than the law.
We’re never called to judge others. Only ourselves.

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Being gay is not a mental disorder.

And frankly guys, if you’re that intent on turning the OTT into 4 Chan, I’m shutting it down. Spend your own money and time hosting a forum where you can extol hate speech.

And this isn’t up for discussion. Question it and the OTT goes away for good.

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Nate, is there a spot on the site where one can donate?

No, go start your own forum. Locking this. Anything else and I’m killing the OTT and you can blame yourself.

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