Von Miller tests positive for Covid-19

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First Forrest Gump, now Von Miller.

At this point in the Pandemic the only news that would shock me was if I see a headline that reads:

“Covid-19 outbreak in Heaven! Elvis, Abraham Lincoln, and Leonardo Da Vinci have tested positive!”

If Tom Hanks can beat it, so can Von!

Stanley, listen to me… Von Miller has COVID-19… and he only has a 99.9% chance of surviving…

Von just needs to use the traditional white people treatment: chicken soup, Dayquil, and Sprite.