You know you're getting older when

I freaking hate those guys. I purposely spend as little time in the locker room as I can because of shit like that.

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For me it started innocent enough, but I noticed each step after I did it. When I get out of the hot tub for instance, I go right to the sink and take my shorts off to ring them out in the sink. Then there’s some kind of spinny thingy that you can put your wet clothes in, so it gets most of the rest of the moisture out that takes about 30-45 seconds. After that I head to my locker. So that sequence went kind of like this after I get out of the hot tub over time:

  1. Put towel on over wet shorts, drop shorts under towel and towel is already in place. Wear towel all the way to locker.

  2. Then I started carrying my towel, dropping my shorts and then putting on my towel after dropping my shorts…split second of nakedness before I would start ringing out my shorts.

  3. Then I stopped putting on my towel to ring out my shorts, but once I went to the spinny thing I put it on.

  4. Then I started walking to the spinny thing naked, but putting the towel on for the 30-45 seconds I was using it.

  5. Then I stopped putting my towel on while using the spinny thing, but I put my towel on while walking to the locker.

  6. The final straw was when I was walking naked from the spinny thing to my locker. Halfway there I realized what I was doing, how I had gotten to that point…and I demanded an immediate course reversal!!!

I felt bad for my grandpa a while back…cuz he likes to go on his mornin walk and little jogs…but he’s been trippin and fallin and hittin his head…we thought he might have a brain tumor…we took him to the doctor up there, turns out he’s fine…but the doctor said when he walks from now on he needs to tuck his nuts in his socks.

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Broke down and bought the gray hair shampoo this year.

Doing a cardiac calcium scan and score next month. Bro 4 yrs ago at 46 had triple bypass. Been pretty good last 15 years on CV health habits and between Keto and Lipitor, my labs are awesome…but for some reason apparently Midwest docs don’t do this calcium scan/score while it is routine care on the East Coast, where my now 4th Obama care doc on my now 5th Obama care plan that is 8x expensive as my personal plan from 7 yrs ago came from…

Next year gonna get my first ever eye exam.

I have 3 grandkids that have no idea what my first or last name is (their bio grandpa is same first name and last initial), so now I regularly answer to “Papa Smooth” out of habit. It’s awesome. If you don’t have grandkids, abduct some.

Also, I just don’t give a fuck about anything anymore. It’s therapeutic, trust me.

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I spend 10 minutes looking for my phone only to find it in my pocket.

On the other side my girlfriend (42) has been sick 3 times in the last year and I haven’t been sick in 5 years. Physically I feel young, but I do notice at times I can’t remember names that used to be easy?

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I did that for about 7 years. You’ll get over it.
Now, I’m up until 2am. Get up at 5 with Deb, lay back down about 6, then get up to stay at 8:30-9:30.

I never thought I’d be the guy that woke up at 545am to work out, but here I am. There is no way a 20-something year old me would ever think that was possible.

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My dad does something similar. When he first retired he would get up kind of early. But now he stays up until 2am every night. I said stays UP, I didn’t say goes to bed. He falls asleep in his chair until about 3-4am, then gets up and goes to bed. But like clockwork he comes out of the bedroom around 10am fully showered and dressed every morning. And what I love about him is its off the races at that point. Its very rare for him to spend more than 30-45 minutes hanging around the house in the morning. He leaves…sometimes with purposes…sometimes without absolutely no clue where he’s gonna end up. All he knows is he’s retired and he ain’t gonna be sitting at home!!!

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I envy him getting off to the races. I usually spend two - three hours figuring out how much Tylenol/Aleve it’s going to take to make the pain bearable so that I can be somewhat productive…on a good balance day.

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Good for you. Here is my 2 cents and you know I do a lot of reading/study in this area. I would add about 8 tablespoons per day of oat bran. Not oat meal, but oat bran.
You can eat it raw or cooked. Not only does it reduce bad cholesterol, but it reduces particle size. I eat it with yogurt, in protein shakes, salads and etc.
Plus I chew and eat one aspirin per day with my dinner.

http://www.oathealth.com/clinical_research/oat_concentration_lowers_cholesterol

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I cant wait for this stage of life. I notice it SLOWLY creeping into my mindset and love it. I was a straight pushover in my 20s.

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I kinda know what you mean, JB.

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Hold that thought. It’ll be here before you know it.
My oldest is 42. My youngest is 22.
I’m like 30…

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As you age, the list of people who can kiss you ass rises exponentially. I don’t give a shit if my socks match and I stare down people who notice and think they might want to say something about it.

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